Push Past Fear

Fear of something bad happening in the future makes us human

Animals fear immediate danger- something that’s happening right now. This is necessary for survival.

Humans worry. This fear is that something MIGHT happen or MIGHT NOT happen.

And this holds us back from trying and doing a lot of things.

Sometimes I put food on my kids plates and they go “I haven’t seen that before, gross”. It’s unfamiliar. Therefore they fear that it may taste bad.

Fear hold us back. Turns us into turtles.

What fears are holding you back?

• Failure
• Abandonment
• Rejection
• Intimacy
• Success
• Power
• Being Broke
• Not being good enough

I think that not being good enough is most common and actually the ROOT of all of the others. and usually stems from early childhood experiences we are either aware of not aware of. We fear we’ll fail because we’re not good enough. We fear we’ll make fools of ourselves, lose our relationships, and that we’ll be abandoned, rejected. Because we’re not good enough.

Think about it. Intimacy, Success- why do we fear these? Because we have a deep rooted belief that we’re not good enough.

Do you have this fear? Most people do.

We make this worse by comparison.

And our mindset.

Letting it stop you from leveling up is a tragedy.

I did this for over a decade of my adult life. I let FEAR take the wheel.

Which is weird because I’m accomplished, degreed, independent, strong, smart.

Fear showed up in my life when I was in a toxic marriage and I felt life I couldn’t get out of it.

I was afraid of what people would think if I left. What it would do to my kids. What it would do to my reputation as a Mentality Coach (if I couldn’t stay married, which I viewed as winning at life- who was I to give advice to other people).

Turns out, my fears were pretty baseless.

Was the divorce hard? Yes. I’m human. Did I struggle to adjust to my new life post divorce? Yes. Change is hard.

But nothing ended. A ton of people ACTUALLY like me more now that I’m living more aligned. And the kids are alright.

Everybody goes through shit.

Life isn’t perfect.

And the tighter you hold that grip on false control, the more miserable you feel.

When you’re doing something or not doing something based on fear, you’re paralyzed.

When I was able to overcome my guilt, shame, and basically the fear of NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, I found out I was not only GOOD ENOUGH. I was EXCEPTIONAL at living my life on my terms.

I’m remarried

Happy

Building my Life according to my rules and the new family my partner and I dream up together that I love.

I’m an athlete. Healthiest I’ve ever been.

I travel a lot.

__________________

So, Great. How do you Ascend out of Fear?

1. Get a coach. Sometimes we have a hard time being objective when we’re stuck in the deep, deep weeds
2. Then, acknowledge your fears. Write them down. Write down the BIGGEST SCARIEST ones.
3. FEEL the fear. We are very good fear avoiders. But the only way through is through. Fully feel it.
4. Ask yourself “What’s the WORST thing that can happen?” Often times it’s not as bad as you think. It’s helpful to gain some perspective.
5. Just do it. I’m a “jumper” I make a decision and I jump. So many opportunities come up as a result of just doing it.
6. Prepare yourself for it getting worse before it gets better. This happens when we begin anything new. We suck at it at first. It’s scary and you’ll feel unsure. Do it anyway. I’m about to step on stage in a sparkly bikini and spray tan for the first time at 37. If I can do that, you can do whatever it is you want to do.
7. Like REALLY prepare yourself for battle. When you’re about to take on adversity, you prepare yourself. You are yourself. You have a battle plan. It is wise to not do this alone. You plan and practice. You come up with a pan to succeed. And you follow through with that plan little by little, day by day. And you stay in that headspace.
   1. “I know I’m going to win”
   2. “I’m doing everything I can do each day to inch closer to my goal”
8. Be in the moment. Fear of failure, not being good enough etc are fears rooted in THE FUTURE. Stay focused in the present moment. We get caught up in worrying what might happen. Instead take all of those thoughts OUT of the equation. First off, you’re a badass and will Fly the W at whatever you set your mind to. Second, if you’re doing what you NEED to do each day, there’s not need to worry. Focus on what you did right and what you can do right now. Bodybuilding is a practice of Mindfulness and Mental Strength. Im working toward something little by little each day. There are NO immediate results. Sometimes I can’t see a difference in my body for weeks! But I still get up every day and eat my food, drink my water, and do what I need to do. And I’ve learned to “leave it at the door” because if I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do on my plan, there’s no need to worry. Breathe. Bring yourself back to this day and even further into this moment.
9. Small steps. Conquering fear and pursuing a life goal can be overwhelming and intimidating. So start small. My client yesterday filed her LLC and although this was a $150 filing fee and besides that not very much work it felt like a HUGE step to her. A step forward into Ascension. Do something you know you can succeed at. Keep doing it. Eventually you’ll get to the top. All of your work adds up. Opportunities open up. Especially when you start really believing that you can.
10. Celebrate success! Every thing you do that’s a step forward is a time to celebrate! Even the small things. Use this feeling of success and victory to propel yourself forward and take the next step. Build upon each one like a stepping stone to victory. It’s such an exchange of energy that goes on. You change from the inside out. People start holding themselves differently, floating, glowing when they’re following their life purpose.

You’ve got this. Fear only exists when you let it. Don’t feed the fear. Fuel your dreams instead.

I can’t wait to see you shine.

AM